oh darlings... :)

the sky is gray but my heart is golden.
the storm before the calm some say, i live it


today was a fearly good day, acctually today was nice besides the DREADFULL rain and blanketed sky.
i need it to be my birthday now, right now please. May 27th where art thou??


{my dead goldfish, i love you.}


met with an old friend today and got rained on by the gods.
it was fun!


im gloomy now from the rain.
its cuddle up time with a movie and blanket...
i wish you were here


xoxoxo
-VV

frickin eh!

tonight i forget why i do anything good for myself.
tonight i wanna use, commit suicide, do anything, fuckin eh.....

GOD DAMNIT!

relax babe's i wont do anything bad, im safe at home but i just have had a really shitty day.

my heart is so broken and im in such dismay.
 how are my little darlings doing?

--VV

so yes i am still single... :(

soo cool, kramer wanted to get back together and i wanted to aswell but i know its not right for me so i said no.

FUCK!

i hate it so much i wanted to be together again so badly but i would just end up in the mix with drugs and heart broken and fucked over. i do love the idea tho...

so here is me, making a good decision for myself......

making a "big girl" decision for myself.

but DAMN i hate it!

heartbroken again,
--VV

oh GODDAMNITTT!

i just wanna do me and this is ME

i love my dead goldfish who may not be dead anymore... but everyone wants him to stay good and dead but i love this little fish ohhh FUCK!

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

excuse the metaphore and the cursing, saylor at <3

why do people have to be so jugdgmental!!!! ahhhhh

let me live and make my own mistakes. AH!

--VV

BlOg TyMmEe!!

AHG! wtf...

okar sluurrpppp, rewind!
i had an amazing day with my nigglet Saul <3 we bossed church.

it was my first time at church  in a  long time.... like REALLY long time and it was beautifull to see all the
{30} people there filled with love and joy. It was all in spanish so i didnt understand any of it, but Saul translated it for me!

then we went to the buffett with everyone and it was fantastic! i havent had that much fun in a long time <3

then there is boy!
oh yes boy..... this boy you think your over and is like the goddamn deadfish you cant flush down the toilett OH GODDDD!

FML............................

till later.. im feeling devious >:)
MUAHAHA!

xoxoxo
--VV

clouds and coffee

good afternoon darlings

today was gray and cold, the drizzle was dreadfull and my soul is heavy from it
my stomache is full from coffee and my heart is in need of sunchine and kisses
its good to be cought up with my Saul and Jazzy, sleepover next weekend, i miss the rest of you dears.

my guitar playing is soothing my own soul and my sleepy eyelids are drooping down.

my intentions are mixed... sunshine where are you my love?
where are you?

in search of you
xoxo
-VV

-VV

sun blown

hello dolls!

today was a beautifull day to see old friends and to establish peace at the same time!
i missed you all dearly

the wind is blowing the suns rays my way and it gives me goose bumps as it chills my skin
the little prickles of grass tickle my legs as i sit criss cross and i am one with the earth <3
i love these spring days they are so beautifull!

i cant wait till summer, till i really find my life back in motion with erason
but as for now i am so happy for this simple sun blewn day <3

endings and new beginnings

my lovely darlings the sun is shining!

it is going to be a beautifull day. what a gift it is to be able to sit on my back porch and write to all of you!
thank you for your support and love throughout this journey, i am strong with each of you by my side <3

today is my last day of treatment dolls
thee moon and stars have had its way with me and i am finnally free!

free of distress and the dramas of my past life.

my orchiad haqs beautifull new growth on it and it is a symbol of MY new growth
i am in a transition period dollls,

watch me grow <3

till later
xoxo
--VV

this is my life

soo the last day of day treatment for my anorexia is most likely tommarow and i feel like my life is being over ruled by the masses. there is so much to be done, people to be met, places to explore but all in time my loves, all in time.

i feel like i cant meet everyones needs but i dont know mine, my anxiety has given me a stomach ache for the past three days, im dying for a ciggarett and a shopping spree with someone elses money. oh god....

but i dont smoke and im broke.
thats right, i die

i just want everything to relax and the walls to fall down around me. relax or retreat...
i worry about money, its been my dying wish to ignore finances but i dont know how
its ingrained in my phyce... however you spell it.

STRESS...

im a little monster i know
xoxo
--VV

hello beautifull sunshine

looking for bird wallpaper is not as easy as it seems
sort of like how looking for yourself isnt quite easy either.

today i was searching online for the most perfect wallpaper for our kitchen but it was quite the challenge. i often feel like this searching within myself. there is a deep hole inside of me that has been tried to be filled by the many shapes of drugs and anorexia but can only be filled with love and joy in its purest forms.

Today i am thankfull for my dearest friends and the people who are willing to love me and listen to my stories. for my soponser and my family. for the sunshine and the song i finished on the guitar :)

goodnight lovelies
xoxo
-vintiage vixen <3

im back from the dead

hello darlings everywhere

i dissaperared for a while battling out my anorexia
it was a duel so all you who are strugging and need inspiration
FEAR NOT
it can be conquered and taken down.

i worked hard and am not ashamed of it
i left it in the cold like this winter

over and moved on.
today i have 51 days clean and sober from drugs alchohal and my ED

what are you celebrating lovelies?

do tell...?! (;